Meet Goku
by gibergabber
Summary: Chichi had always been unpopular in the village. So what happens when she invites her friends over to meet her impressive new husband? Please Note: First Chapter is a default chapter to provide background.
1. Default 1

Chichi had never been very popular with the village girls. There was just something about the combination of being the Ox King's daughter, and her nature to overreact, that seemed to drive them away in droves. And because none of the girls liked her, none of the boys did either. And thus, Chichi had no friends.

When she announced her engagement to one Son Goku, everyone had been very surprised. The girls, 2 in particular named Kutsu and Baiyoi pretended to be nice to her to get the details. However, they left soon after they heard his description.

The same height and age as she was? Wasn't she both a girl _and_ short for her age? And that part about his being really strong? Hah! She probably just made that up so they'd be impressed! In fact, she probably made the whole thing up!

Over the years, Chichi made one friend, a girl named Shisen. Shisen was a quiet, shy girl, shunned just the same as Chichi was. In school, they bonded together as the losers of the class, and thus Shisen and Chichi became the best of friends.

Due to her unpopularity, Chichi had way too much time on her hands. When Shisen wasn't over for 'girl time', Chichi would whittle the day away, sparring and training with her father. Due to her sparring, Chichi grew up to be a strong warrior. Beautiful too, if Shisen was to be believed (though Chichi doubted that).

If she thought the fact that she'd grown up to be rather pretty would earn her more friends though, she was sadly mistaken. Far from being impressed with her new good looks, the other girls were only jealous, and therefore treated her worse than before.

Actually, that's not entirely true. Kutsu and Baiyoi liked to pretend to be her friend. Chichi was well aware that it was only an act, but she was still mildly grateful that they still invited both her and Shisen to all the parties. Even if it was just to be sure to have free waitresses.

It was at Kutsu's wedding that they began to tease her about Goku.

"Chichi, darling! Are you here alone?" Baiyoi asked, coming to stand by her seat. She was hanging off her own husband, the Shop Keeper's arm.

"Hm? Oh, no. I brought Shisen and daddy with me" She grinned up at Baiyoi.

"Hun, you know that's not what I meant. I mean, didn't your _fiancé_ come to the wedding with you?" Baiyoi made sure to stroke her own husband's arm, and Chichi lowered her eyes.

"Uh… he couldn't- I mean- uh… He's been busy." Chichi finally got out. Truth was, she hadn't seen Goku since she was 12, but that wasn't really important…

"But dear, you were the first of us to get engaged! But you're the last to get married! Why, even little Shisen got married before you!"

It was true. All of the girls their age had begun to get married off to boys in and around their humble village. The last to get married, aside from Chichi, had been Kutsu, but that was simply because she was the youngest of them. Even Shisen had gotten married to a nice farmer's boy!

After the wedding, things seemed to go even farther downhill for Chichi's social life. Kutsu, Baiyoi, and even Shisen were too busy with their news husbands to pay her much attention. Sure, she and Shisen still saw each other, but it was hardly the same as before Shisen got married. Their girl time went from nearly every day, to only once a week, to once a month in the blink of an eye.

Chichi really didn't understand it though. They were only 16 after all! She couldn't help but admit that she was jealous though. Soon enough though, she learned that the Strongest Under the Heaven's tournament was coming up- and that she should enter! Because, who else would be there but Goku?

Within the year, she was ready. And armed with just a teeny bit of extra confidence because Kutsu had just gotten a divorce. And so, much to the shock of the village, she packed her bags, hugged the Ox King goodbye, and announced that she was going to find Goku.

With one last wave, she had turned on her heel and left the village without a second glance.

_I'll show them!_

**Okay, so please don't think I'm too weird, but here's the meaning of the girl's names. Just… bear in mind that I was trying to follow the story's own naming scheme of using Clothing, food, puns, and Various Body parts.**

**Kutsu: Shoe**

**Baiyoi-Eki (Baiyoi): Broth**

**Shisen: Eyes**

**And just in case you don't believe me about the show's naming scheme…**

**Chichi: tits**

**Bulma: Bloomers**

**Launch: Sometimes actually called Lunch, self explanatory.**

**Goku… Let's use Kakkarrot instead: Weird spelling of Carrot.**

**Vegeta: First 6 letters of Vegetable**

**Tarble (Vegeta's brother): variant of table, and completes Vegeta's pun on Vegetable. **

**Yamcha: A pun on Dim Sum… apparently...**

**Tien Shinnhan: A pun of Fried Rice.**

**Kurinin : Both Japanese for Chestnut **_**and**_** a pun on the fact that he's bald.**

**Okay, we're done here. Actually, if you want to know any of the other character's names meaning, just send me a shout out and I'll direct you to the page that I found it at.**


	2. Let the oggling commence!

**Okay, okay. This story is completely random, I know. Stop bugging me about it already! So, the first chapter was just to, I don't know, set the mood? The real story begins now! Actually before that, I need to clear something up. I haven't watched DBZ since I was a kid and it was on TV, and I've only recently started watching Dragon Ball, so bear with me on the house, okay? Google can only tell me so much, and all I remember is that they lived across from Goku's old hut and that the area was pretty damn secluded.**

Freshly married, and feeling smug. That's me, Chichi. My new husband (Goodness I love that word!), the little boy I'd fallen in love with when I was 12, was all grown up now! He'd grown into a handsome, strong, surprisingly tall (I mean, c'mon! You have to admit that he was a midget when we met!), warrior. Not that I, y'know, approve of his fighting… and his intelligence really is questionable… eh- sorry, off track.

Anyways, I was freshly married and feeling smug. So smug in fact, that I decided maybe a touch of bragging was in order.

And what better thing to do than invite my old friends over to meet Goku? Shisen's been _dying_ to meet him. Personally, I'd been dying to introduce him to Kutsu and Baiyoi, the bitches… I mean, friends! Silly, I didn't say that other word! Last I'd heard, Kutsu was on husband 2, and Baiyoi was dealing with the twins from hell. At least Shisen and her husband are still married and waiting…

Ah well. Of course, when I told Goku that my friends were coming over, he'd smiled at me, ruffled my hair, and went out to spar with Krillin. That's right, he ruffled my hair! Like a puppy, or a friend or a sister! Would it kill the man to initiate a kiss? I already _know_ he likes them, (emphasized by his reactions to said kisses), but it's always up to me to start them!

Oh, sorry, off topic again. Hmm, maybe I should have told Goku that the girls were coming over to meet him… slight oversight on my part! But, it's too late now! They're coming any minute and I'm not ready! Besides, Goku'll come back soon enough, when he gets hungry.

I swiped on some lipstick (or as I call it, Courage on a Stick), and smiled at myself. I dashed into the living room, mentally doing a check- the couches and chairs are in order, the tea is warming, the snacks are on the coffee table, there's mud on the ti- Damn it! Goku tracked mud in again! Argh! I don't think I have enough time to wash it!

Being the genius that I am (at least compared to Goku) I dragged the carpet over the stain. There, perfect. As soon as I was finished dragging the carpet and making sure it looked okay, a knock came at the door. Gragh! They're here!

I rushed to the door, and took a deep breath. Hoookay, I can do this! It's no big deal! With a smile plastered onto my face, I opened the door.

"Chichi, darling! It's been too long!" Baiyoi exclaimed as soon as it opened, and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. Urgh. I hate this false enthusiasm… it actually almost seems genuine. As soon as Baiyoi let me go, I was pulled into yet another bone-crushing hug, this time by Kutsu.

"I haven't seen you in forever, dear! How are you?" she asked when she'd pulled away.

"Oh fab. Just fab." I grit my teeth. "C'mon in!" I gestured towards the couches. Baiyoi fake smiled and claimed my favourite spot. Damn her! Kutsu stayed by the door.

"Dearest, I know you won't mind, but I brought Dan along too. When I said that I was coming to meet your husband, he simply insisted! Said he didn't want poor what's-his-name to feel overwhelmed by all the girls!" And, classic Kutsu. "He's just parking now."

Actually, I do mind. I remember Dan. He was a serious asshole in High school. I mean, seriously! He went after all the girls and never took no for an answer! He almost forced me to join his gang of girlfriends when he found out I didn't have a date to prom! Goku's going to love him… too late to say no now.

"No, of course I don't mind! Please, take a seat!" Kutsu grinned and plopped down beside Baiyoi. I took a seat on the loveseat opposite them and stretched my legs out. "The tea'll be ready soon- it just needs to warm up a bit."

We sat for a few minutes in silence before Kutsu spoke up.

"By the way, Shisen wanted me to tell you that she couldn't make it today. Apparently she's far too pregnant to come all this way."

Damn. That really makes me mad. Shisen was supposed to be the part about the day that made having to see Kutsu and Baiyoi better! She knows I can't really stand them! And I never heard that she was pregnant… so much for waiting.

We sat for a few more minutes.

"So sweetie, where's this man of yours?" Oh, right. They came to meet Goku and he's out with Krillin. GREEEAAAAAT timing there, buddy.

"He's outside, sparring with a friend. I told him you were coming…" I saw the mock sympathy in their eyes.

"Oh, he's 'busy' is he? Just like he was every time you needed a date? He's miraculously 'not here'?" The look was still fake sympathy. And she just _has_ to bring up old hurt! She added something under breath, that sounded like it had to do with Dan, but whatever. Actually, speaking of Dan, where is he?

"Hey, Kutsu, where's Dan?" I asked. She smiled.

"Oh, he's probably just taking a drive around. This is a mighty beautiful area that you live in here. Though that old hut sure leaves something to be desired…" I felt myself frown.

"Goku grew up in that hut."

"In this secluded area? You never told me that he was a monkey man!" More than you know, Baiyoi, more than you know… thank goodness he doesn't have that tail anymore. _That'd _ raise some questions that _no one_ could answer.

"Uh, yeah. He grew up with his adopted Grandpa before he died."

Baiyoi looked like she was about to say something, but a knock came at the door.

"Oh, that must be Dan! Do you mind if I get it, Chichi?" I shook my head and waved her towards the door.

"So Baiyoi, how're the twins doing?"

"Oh my god, don't even ask me about those stupid brats! It was all I could do to convince Kyo to take them for the day! He almost cried when I told him I was going to visit you and leave him alone with them!" And she kept ranting, and ranting, and _ranting _about her stupid kids. Boy did I ever ask the wrong question.

Or maybe it's the right question. Kutsu and Dan seem to be discussing something over at the door, and so long as I pretend to pay attention to Baiyoi for now, I don't have to talk until Goku comes back! Or Kutsu and Dan come over. Which they're doing now.

"Baiyoi, darling. _Shut up_ about your stupid kids. No one cares." Kutsu said gently, reclaiming her seat beside her friend and eagerly arguing over whether anyone cared about her children or not.

And Dan took a seat, alarmingly far from Kutsu and alarmingly close to mine. Thank god I have my legs up. I have the weirdest feeling that if I didn't, he'd have sat beside me.

"Hiya Chi! You're looking as great as ever." Dan smiled… leered at me. Oh gods, he hasn't changed.

"Er, hi Dan. Nice that you could make it." I replied.

"So, where's this fellow of yours?" he asked slyly.

"Uh… he's outside somewhere, training with a friend." I adjusted my legs so they were taking up the entire other cushion, just in case he got some stupid idea. The only one who'd move my legs now (and not get murdered) is Goku!

"Hm, that's funny, I drove around the area pretty thoroughly, and I didn't see any one else." I don't suppose he'd believe me if I told him that Goku can fly and they can both move at superhuman speeds. Drat.

"Oh trust me, they're around."

"Uh hunh, sure."

Oh god I hate Goku's obliviousness. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. If he wasn't such an idiot, then he would have understood he's supposed to meet my friends (no matter _how_ lightly I use the term), and not go off to train with his equally idiotic friend when they're supposed to be coming! These jerks already think he's fake!

As though they'd heard my silent ranting, we heard a door slam and a call of 'We're home!' Oh thank god! Ha! The looks on Kutsu and Baiyoi's faces are priceless. I stood up and smoothed out my skirt.

"Goku, Krillin, could you guys come here and meet some people?" I called. "Oh, and bring the tea, please!" I took my seat again, and tossed my legs up before Dan could get any ideas.

"Sure!" I heard Krillin call back, followed by a muffled curse from Goku. Idiot probably just tracked more mud in with those damned boots of his. Two loud clangs announced that Goku had taken them off.

"Uh… Chichi, what was that sound?" asked a slightly concerned looking Baiyoi.

"Oh… that was just Goku taking off his boots. I hate it when he tracks mud in the house you see."

"But… why did that sound like metal?" she looked suspiciously towards the area.

"They're Goku's um… work… boots." I said lamely. Honestly, I don't feel like explaining why my husband wears 50lbs weights on his feet. She nodded, though the suspicious look remained. Kutsu and Baiyoi's eyes widened, and I could only assume that the boys were now visible in the kitchen, having passed the partial wall.

I have to admit, they're pretty eye catching. Tall Goku with wild hair, tiny bald Krillin, both wearing the same eye watering orange gi. I smiled to myself as I pictured the image that they'd make. They both came around the half wall finally.

"Hiya, Chichi!" Goku said from behind my seat and ruffled my hair again. I resisted the urge to yell at him and instead closed my eyes. He needs to stop with the damn hair ruffling! It was cute the first 2 times he did it! Now it's just plain annoying.

"Hey Chi!" Krillin exclaimed, and I stood up to give him a hug. He let go after a second though, casting a wary eye on Goku (Who had yet to show any jealousy, ever, I might add).

"Hey guys! Meet my friends, Baiyoi, Kutsu and Dan." They nodded. "And these are Goku and Krillin"

They plopped down onto my loveseat, so instead I claimed the armchair beside Kutsu and Baiyoi's couch. Goku had a frown on his face, and a hand on his stomach. That's so cute! He's hungry, but he's not saying anything for my sake! Aw. But then, that's one of the little things I love about Goku.

"So, you're Chichi's friends?" Krillin asked after a few moments of us all just staring awkwardly at each other.

"Oh yes! We've known Chichi forever!" Kutsu simpered. "And how long have you known her?"

"Uhm, for a while now I guess." That's kind of a lie, but I'll let it slide. He's been over constantly since Goku and I got married 4 months ago.

"Oh, I was under the impression it was longer" Kotsu said simply. Conversation died out for a minute.

"So uh, guys, Chichi said that you were out sparring?" Dan began again. At the mention of one of his favourite words (the others being fighting and food), Goku's eyes lit up and his hand stopped rubbing his stomach.

"Yeah! We were training up for the next Martial arts tournament!" Sigh. I should have known. Dan and Goku began discussing martial arts, much to my surprise, and Krillin started up a conversation about baking, of all things, with Kutsu and Baiyoi. I found myself listening in to Goku's conversation.

Despite the fact that I don't like fighting, I have to admit that that I kind of love it. There's just something about training your body and getting stronger. About 10 minutes later, when Goku was describing how he defeated Tien in detail and Krillin was retelling a horrifying tale of having to bake 200 cookies in 2 hours, a loud growl was heard.

Everyone's eyes snapped to Goku.

"Ehehe, guess s'time to raid the fridge. I'm a bit hungry."

"Me too." Krillin admitted. They got up to feed themselves, and I scurried over to reclaim my loveseat.

"Hey Chi? Got any of those noodles left over from dinner last night?' Krillin called to me over his shoulder. Of course Krillin had been over for dinner last night. He always comes over for dinner on Tuesdays. Actually, everyone does. It's a pain to have to cook more food (Goku eats enough to feed a family of 10 on his own), but it's great to see everyone.

"They should be in a red container." I called back. I heard the fridge door open and the sounds of someone rooting around. Judging from the sounds of eating as they were rooting, I'd say it was Goku. Kutsu and Baiyoi's eyes were glued to something in the kitchen. Kutsu had a bit of drool out the corner of her mouth.

I wonder what they're staring at though… for drool it'd have to be food, but as far as I know, Goku ate my last beautiful cake. I hazarded a glance over my shoulder.

Oh the pride! I'm so very, very proud! Goku was bent over, presumably eating off the bottom shelf, and his lovely, round, firm bum was on prominent display. I admired the view for a second before I realized something. I wasn't the only who was looking! Suddenly, jealousy overtook pride and I let out a low growl.

Thankfully, the sound caught the girls' attention, and their eyes jumped to mine. The sounds of rummaging stopped and Goku stepped back into the room.

"Hey Chi? We're gonna go clean up." I nodded my and he grinned at me. He nodded his head to my friends before he and Krillin took off towards the bathroom.

"Hey Dan, why don't you go join them?" Kutsu asked slyly. I see the look in her eyes, and I don't like it. That look promises a serious grilling and gossip session. Apparently Dan saw it too, because he wandered towards the bathroom without question.

"Alright now Chi, he's real." Was the first thing that Baiyoi said when he was out of earshot. Well no shit.

"I already told you that. Goku's real." I said huffily.

"So you married Goku? I was sure that you would've married Krillin!" Huh? Krillin? Why the hell would she think that?

"Why would I marry Krillin? I only met the guy recently! Though it does feel like it's been a while…" I trailed off uncertainly.

"Can we start with the fact that Krillin is gorgeous?" Kutsu gushed. Krillin is gorgeous? Is she kidding? Or does she maybe have a thing for short bald monks… Huh, I never considered that… maybe I can set them up!

"You'd do that for me?" She asked eyes wide. Oh damn, I said that out loud. It's too bad I only just realized that Krillin is way too good for this bitch. Too late now though. Damn am I ever saying that a lot today!

"Uh sure, but what about Dan?"

"Screw Dan!" She said loudly.

"Fine, fine, I'll set you up with Krillin- though I didn't realize that he was your type."

"Chichi honey, he's everyone's type! I mean, he's so muscular, and handsome and… That ass." Baiyoi jumped in with a sigh. "If I wasn't stuck with Kyo and the brats…" Did she just say something about Krillin having a nice bum? It's alright, I guess. But not nearly as nice as Goku's. Ah well.

Well, you learn something new every day. At least Krillin'll be happy that he gets to date a pretty (ugh) girl. Lord knows that boy needs a girlfriend.

We spent the 30 minutes or so talking about how hot Krillin is (to them at least… I honestly don't see it). They would alternate between gushing over how cute he was, and grilling me about his personal life. When they found out that he lived with a perverted turtle hermit, I could practically see the stars in their eyes.

"That's it! I'm going to date him, then marry him, then save that poor hunk from having to live with such a perverted fool!" Kutsu shouted again. I looked anxiously over towards the hallway, but thankfully the bathroom door remained closed.

"Is his hair naturally that way?" I don't know how to answer that one! I've never seen Krillin's hair! Why the hell would they ask about what he doesn't have?! Oh wait! Maybe they mean is he naturally bald! And the grilling started again.

"I still don't see it…" I said after a few more minutes of grilling. But then it all clicked. They'd confused Goku and Krillin. They thought that I'd married Krillin! Oh god, this is too funny! They think I'm such a nerd I find Krillin hot! This explains the ass comment, as well as the hair question and a few others. "I'd've honestly thought that you'd think Goku was hot, not Krillin."

Just as I said that however, the bathroom door opened and –low and behold- Goku was in the front, huge grin on his face. He shot me a wink which caused me to blush and shuffle on my loveseat. Right behind him was Krillin.

"Thanks Chichi." He said sarcastically. This is too perfect! From the looks on their faces, Kutsu and Baiyoi don't know that it was sarcasm! They still think we're married! Boy, are they in for a shock. Not far behind Krillin was a soaked, slightly disturbed looking Dan. Goku came and stood in front of me.

"Okay Chi, how do I smell?" He held his arms out and I leaned forward to sniff him. This is a daily ritual for us. It took me about a day to figure out that Goku doesn't really like bathing… and about a week to convince him otherwise… using my own… tactics… that make me blush just thinking about them… A-anyways, it sort of because a habit for us, me smelling him when he came out of the bath.

"Great. You smell great." I grinned at him and he grinned back. He lifted my legs from the loveseat and plopped down on it, putting my legs in his lap. I could practically see Dan thinking 'why didn't I do that' until a look from Goku made him cower.

Right! Goku can read minds! No wonder he's being oddly affectionate! He must've read Dan's mind (though from the looks he'd been sending me it wouldn't take a genius) and gotten jealous. For the first time ever. He wasn't even jealous when Master Roshi asked to 'see' my chichis. Ah well, it's cute and I'll take what I can get.

Also, the looks on Baiyoi and Kutsu's faces at the affectionate move are priceless. That's nice too. Kutsu seemed to get over her shock however. She leaned towards Goku, making sure her chest was on display (thankfully with Goku, she could take her shirt off and he wouldn't notice). Still a bitch move though.

"Chichi was just telling us all about you." Uh… what? I thought she was trying to steal Goku from me. But… she still seems to think that he's Krillin, despite the fact that his hands have begun to trace a pattern on my shins. Maybe she thinks that he's doing some sort of best friend thing with me…?

"Good things, I hope?" He responded, his eyes trained on his hand and my leg. She sat back up when she saw he wasn't looking at her, and instead said more generally. I could see the suspicion about their confusion in her eyes.

"I heard about living with the Turtle guy. That must be hard." If she had any doubt that they'd been a mix up, it was gone when the real Krillin responded.

"Nah, it's not too bad! I just gotta be back for dinner or Launch is gonna be roasting me instead!" His eyes darted to the clock on the wall and his eyes widened. "Speaking of which- gotta go!" Krillin shouted, and dashed out of the house. His "SEEE YOU LATER GOKU!" echoed.

"Well Goku, I don't think you were properly introduced. Kutsu, Baiyoi, Dan, this is my husband, Son Goku."


End file.
